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    Dartplayer Dot Net :: View topic - SEWA Signature Darts Line
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    SEWA Signature Darts Line
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:47 pm    Post subject: SEWA Signature Darts Line Reply with quote

    Just some ideas for a SEWA Signature darts line based on members' preferences...(please nobody take offense, none is meant!)

    Erik Darts - if they bounce out, when they hit the floor, they give him 20.

    LegionOfDoom Darts - not just removeable points, but edible ones.

    BobAnderson Darts - no flights, no knurling, a little rust, great for building projects.

    Zeeple Darts - each one is completely different and is an antique.

    KopR Darts - the barrel has a holographic pic of you-know-who, trouble is KopR ends up with the worst case of dartitius yet.

    Ramses Darts - hollow barrel, end screws off, holds enough beer to get you to the oche.

    5uperman Darts - little red capes instead of flights.

    Dart-talker Darts - an inspirational quotation appears along the barrel in LED's before each shot.

    Tina Darts - whenever and wherever you're going to play, you'll find everything organized and ready to go!

    Digger Darts - design themselves new logos for the flights every tournament, and they're darn good logos too!

    WhiteKnight Darts - when they hit a great shot, which is very often, they apologize ( Smile ).

    MzzThang Darts - barrel coating is made of topical pain killers. And is purple.

    Mcvickj Darts - no matter how well you throw with these, you will always come in second, and it will be decided by a diddle.

    MaceTheAce Darts - barrel coating neutralizes car polish.

    Chitown Darts - you need to rest them once in a while, but then they come out smokin'.

    Dwalsh Darts - whatever you aim for, they'll hit it! Unless you're in Boston....

    BlackHorse Darts - barrels are 12" long, cuz it takes forever to get to the point.

    That's as much as I could do with work constantly interrupting Mad

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    OnAndGone
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    I'm not offended, jsut sad that I am not good enough to have my own signature darts Crying or Very sad

    Just klidding. Laughing
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    Ramses
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    BWAAAHAHAHAAAA!!!

    That was fantastic!

    I'd like to add the--

    Taechon dart: Each one comes with a fortune cookie filled with a couch and psycho-analysis. They have a point, but it takes a long time to get there. Or...The Taechon dart: The dart that is not a dart that is a dart.
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    I thought of you, Mike, I just don't know of a character trait to exploit in you yet! .....maybe with the latest developments:

    MNoble Darts - you think you've lost them, but then there they are again, thank goodness!

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    jester
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    i cant believe that i dont have a set of darts BH. Smile
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    jester wrote:
    i cant believe that i dont have a set of darts BH. Smile


    This is funnier than my original post!! Laughing

    Jester, I don't know what to make fun of with you, man Smile ........lessee...

    Jester Darts - instead of flights they have ponytails, and they win more prize draws than darts matches. (weak, sorry!)

    Combo Jester/ChillyM Darts - these are an $85 value but free at MzzThang's, but nobody goes to get any!!! (there's a subtle hint! Smile

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    Dart_talker
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    The Inspiration Line! What an inspiration Wink
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    Ramses
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    The Double Trouble dart--The dart you have to sneer while doing the "Cabbage Patch" to throw.

    The Ray Carver dart--comes with diamond ear rings

    The Johnny K dart--Comes with Harley-Davidson accessories and a Karaoke machine

    The John Part dart--Complete with Chiun-fu knurled grip

    The Skizrock dart--The dart you don't want to let your daughter throw.

    The Ed Lowy dart--The dart that is EVERY dart.
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    Skizrock
    Senior Moderator Team SEWA Original
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Quote:
    The Skizrock dart--The dart you don't want to let your daughter throw.


    What chu talkin bout?? Willi... Ram?

    Im still holding out for a BH inspired set though, no offense Ramses

    Ramses Signiture Series Not only can you throw them for 180s, you set them on fire and juggle them too... not to done at the same time as to not set a bristle board ablaze. Very Happy Shocked
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    Ramses
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    I love having the dart that you're encouraged to drink with, can juggle, can set on fire and comes with a legal disclaimer!

    The dart case comes standard with a child-proof cap.

    Hehehe...
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    OnAndGone
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    BlackHorse wrote:
    I thought of you, Mike, I just don't know of a character trait to exploit in you yet! .....maybe with the latest developments:

    MNoble Darts - you think you've lost them, but then there they are again, thank goodness!


    Very good BH Laughing

    Maybe I should revive my original moniker.

    OnAndGone
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    LEGIONOFDOOM
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    PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    hey..... the points are fixed
    but they do come in 180 flavors Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    We have a few things in for the new Skizrock Line of Darts for the fall season, something for even the most discriminating tastes.....

    Drawing on the personal experiences of Skiz's friend, er friends, and family, neighbours, the kid down the road, Andy Griffith, and two girls he picked up hitchiking in '99....I hereby give credit to the contributors for what I have below. They asked to remain anonymous, not for fear of reprisals, but for fear of it being made public that they know a "Skizrock".

    The first one, I am just plain embarrassed about, I should have gotten this one myself from the Tournaments he watched here:


    Skizrock Darts - with these you can play anywhere, anytime.....once you have permission from your wife.
    (or husband, significant other, I add politically-correctily).


    Skizrock Darts - come with a built-in vibrator to simulator the signature hand-shaking motion of the darter they are named after. Emulate your hero!! The shaking gives you a much wider range of target area!

    Skizrock Darts - installed with a little taped message. You press the button after each attempt at a Double, and it says, "Aw, don't worry about it, you know you never hit them anyway." In fact, Skizrock Darts will come with a No-Double Guarantee. Or Double your money back....? Confused

    Skizrock Darts - play the theme songs of Mayberry RFD and Happy Days alternately.

    Skizrock Darts - come with a reusable form for ordering MzzThang's "I Got Beat By A Girl" T-shirts.

    Skizrock Darts - feel like the Master is right there with you with these darts that constantly jabber away while you shoot! Never feel alone again! Never be bothered by focusing again! Twenty-two different lines, including, "Look at them Puppies!", "No, nothing more to drink for me", " If BH doesn't hurry up reporting these games, my wife will kill me!", "Yes, I actually have 29 other sets of darts, but these are the only ones I use."

    The Skizrock Dart Package - to push lagging sales, the darts also come with a coupon for a Bikini Car Wash.

    [for the last one, ladies please accept my apologies - I can't change that one around gender-wise without it losing it's effect on Skiz. Your graciousness is appreciated.]

    That's it for now. Maybe more will come in, but I wanted these up before those involved lost interest! Oh, and Skiz? Those hitchhikers are wondering when they can go home.....
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    WhiteKnight
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    HAhah,,that was funny fer sure...sorry,,i apologize for laughing..

    Last edited by WhiteKnight on Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    So the answer to the question, "Skizrock - Real or Myth?", apparently applies to Doubles - he mythes them!
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    Skizrock
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Oh man I havent laughed that hard in awhile!! That was funny, thanks BH and of course Legion of Doom, guess we should have gotten the car washed! Oh man.. too funny! Thanks for the laugh brother! Now off to the glue factory.
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    The John Part Special Edition "2D" Dart Package:

    This kit comes supplied with everything you will need to turn your 3D world to 2D and succeed as a darter!

    Including the following:


    Magnet Kit:
    - slip the 50kg-power plate magnet in behind the dartboard.
    - slide the magnetic elbow sleeve onto your throwing arm.
    - this will pull your elbow out towards the board every time.
    - wear heavy boots.
    - when possible, play where there is a raised oche, preferably waist-high.
    - read the disclaimer on the instruction sheet regarding dental work and pub cutlery.


    Pirate Accessory Package:
    - should the Magnet Kit fail to provide you with a 2D game, the Pirate Accessory Package comes with a medicated gel to smear on your non-dominant eye, rendering it blind for up to four hours!
    - with only one eye, 3D is no longer possible!
    - pirate patch included. Note that we thought you could just wear the patch, but that would be too hard to explain without getting laughed at - unless you were willing to use the Deluxe Pirate Accessory Package which includes a wooden peg leg, chainsaw directions and a bandaid.
    - read the disclaimer on the instruction sheet regarding loss of depth perception and urinals.
    - note that this product should not be referred to in the abbreviation of "PAP Smear".

    Darth Maple Hand Stik-Um:
    - a small vial of genuine Canadian Maple Syrup, to be applied to your fingers to facilitate gripping.
    - unlike some other products, JP Maple Syrup Stik-Um is not unpleasant if you accidently revert to your old habit of finger licking.
    - read the disclaimer on the instruction sheet regarding weight gain, tooth decay and turning into a sap.


    Order your John Part Special Edition "2D" Dart Package today, with Unicorn darts, through BlackBull Darts, and book your trip to Las Vegas!!


    (shameless plugs for SEWA sponsors numbers 49 and 50)

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    Rocky
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    ok.. i got to get off this thing for the day.. havent laughed this much in years... Thanks bh.. i needed a gut ache befor bed!
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    Taechon
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    PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Ramses wrote:
    BWAAAHAHAHAAAA!!!

    That was fantastic!

    I'd like to add the--

    Taechon dart: Each one comes with a fortune cookie filled with a couch and psycho-analysis. They have a point, but it takes a long time to get there. Or...The Taechon dart: The dart that is not a dart that is a dart.


    And still has a sense of humor... ILMAO Funny!
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    Taechon
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    PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    The Blackhorse Dart.
    Wen you turn two of them upside down they laugh (Ha ha ha ha ha) but the third one for some unknown reason says (moooooooooo!)
    _________________
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    Darts is a simple game. It is the human mind that is complex. When the mind becomes as simple as the game, you have harmony.

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    Charis
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    PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 4:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Very Happy That really was the best reading for a rainy Sunday morning!
    Perhaps, BlackHorse , you should complement your JP Special Edition by vouchers for a Far Eastern massage for the throwing arm.

    Now I can only hope that I might some day be honoured by my own set of darts out of BlackHorse`s production Wink
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    Jo
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    PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    These are great BH. Really funny. Laughing

    But I can’t believe you haven’t mentioned the CraigB Dart Range. Features include, a microchip in each dart that logs all the individual scores. They then collate the data into percentages galore, and automatically posts the information onto the SEWA spreadsheet. Also these darts come with flights that change to a different, EXTREMELY RANDOM, design every couple of weeks.

    And, does the Bob Anderson Dart Range comes with a special extendable tip, thus allowing the dart to double up as a skewer for the BBQ?

    Wink
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    BlackHorse
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    PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Laughing

    Those are great, Jo, thanks!


    Craig's are spot on, I just hadn't gotten to him yet, even I run out of steam sometimes. It isn't like he doesn't get lots of ribbing already though, and often from himself! I mean, when you use Grilled Cheese Sandwiches as your avatar... So I'm glad you got him instead of me. Smile

    Bob's are good too - he doesn't give me as much ammo as JP does. JP is a great comedian AND a great instructor, so he contributes lots of stuff to use against him Twisted Evil .

    We could build on the Bob one you started for us - get a whole BBQ theme going - he uses his dry wit for kindling, and his hot shooting to light the burner. Sauce in hollow barrels. Oversized flights to flip the burgers. I wonder what Sally's maiden name was.....if it started with "D", then we could say he always has "SallyD" (salad) nearby too. Very Happy

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    PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Special Note: BH Darts, are very sharp!! Wink

    How about expanding the JP range?

    JP Darts for the beginners who are not ready for the Magnet Kit just yet. These darts, when thrown incorrectly, just bounce back out of the board and stab you in the arm until you get that elbow/board angle spot on.

    This set also comes with a free set of tips. These are for use when you are finally throwing correctly, but you now have a strange urge to keep going until “you arm is nearly falling off”. They then double up as acupuncture needles to relieve the pain.

    I think they should be called The JP No Pain, No Gain Darts. Twisted Evil
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    Skizrock
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    PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Taechon wrote:
    The Blackhorse Dart.
    Wen you turn two of them upside down they laugh (Ha ha ha ha ha) but the third one for some unknown reason says (moooooooooo!)


    Lost me there Tacheon??
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