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    Dartplayer Dot Net :: View topic - A Blond's Year In Review
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    A Blond's Year In Review

     
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    Chitown599
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    Joined: May 31, 2006
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    Location: Holbrook, Ma.

    PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 12:59 pm    Post subject: A Blond's Year In Review Reply with quote

    A Blonde's Year in Review
    -------------------------

    January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

    February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer!

    March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

    April - Trapped on escalator for hours ? power went out!!!

    May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

    June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

    July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

    August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open.

    September - The capital of California is "C"....isn't it?

    October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

    November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound - I weigh 108!!

    December - Couldn't call 911.... "duh"....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!
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    Destruct
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    DART SGT. MAJOR


    Joined: May 09, 2006
    Posts: 2116
    Location: Franklin, MA

    PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Been a while since I heard some good Blonde jokes.....

    Thanks Frank! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    Slender009
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    Joined: May 22, 2013
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    PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2013 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    Lol, especially March and December Laughing
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    Last edited by Slender009 on Thu May 23, 2013 4:09 am; edited 1 time in total
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    CraigB
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    Joined: Dec 17, 2005
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    PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2013 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    I think we can have her revisit October if we ask her to alphabetize those M & M's... Twisted Evil Razz
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    Chitown599
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    Joined: May 31, 2006
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    Location: Holbrook, Ma.

    PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2013 8:25 am    Post subject: another blone joke Reply with quote

    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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    Chitown599
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    Joined: May 31, 2006
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    PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2013 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

    A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV, it's a microwave!"
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